DEAR CH32, WHERE ARE YOU?
(Me, this time last week.)
Damn, what a week it's been. It's harder to actually put into words how much of a week it's actually been I'll be honest.
It's like one of those situations where you try to tell somebody about it, and they're like 'yeah' but they just don't know. Screw it. I'm going to write about it regardless- since I actually have the writing bug for once.
On the 30th of April I got home from my 11 day trip to Tunisia- & damn, what a trip that was.
It was a full on 2 weeks on filming out there, some of the days were super long- but yeah, I'll chat more about Tunisia some time real soon.
On the Sunday- I was out of battery. My body was dead after coming to a complete standstill from 12 days of non-stop doing things. I was exhausted, this caused me a bit of a frigging illness indeed, and when I get ill, I get ill. It's like one big holiday for my body, it's all of my organs interacting with each other like ''Oh hey immune system, shall we just mug off life today? screw it, let's strike & see how much Charlotte can take.'' - damn, I know what you're thinking: every one gets ill, lalalala- I know guys. It was just such a illness that I kinda just wanted to try and put it into words.
Anyways- think of all of your kitchen appliances well and truly screwed, that was me. Even the frigging egg timer.
It comes to Wednesday, the middle of the week- & I actually feel like death, with a strong hint of death (x5). I need to go to the hospital. I never really feel this when I'm ill. I didn't actually think I would make it to the hospital- I was in and out of consciousness, with eyes that were ridiculously sensitive to light, and when they were stable to be opened for more than 15 seconds they looked like they had been playing hard on the pin ball machine. Thankfully we weren't too long in the hospital, since they scare the blooming heck out of me- and when they thought they wanted to keep me in over night I almost freaked. Can I just take a second to say how frigging awesome the NHS are by the way- I was sat in tears just looking at these beautiful humans work their arse off throughout the day. I just want it noted that we really need to think about this more, since we are so so grateful for the amazing help we receive- and damn are those hospitals BUSY! That's a LOT of people, with a lot of different situations with a LOT of different wants and needs for each of them.
I'm not going to go into my illness, so I'm sorry if this story seemed some what appetising in that sense (you nosey bugger) - I really wanted to write this post to talk about me having a bit of a eye opening this past week, or a somewhat, revelation- I don't particularly like using that word, since it seems like a bit of a myth, but I genuinely think it's necessary. When you are sick, it brings a lot of time into your hands right, it makes you think a damn lot, right? It also makes you want to be extremely grateful for the 90% of the year where you are fit and healthy. Now, with all this thinking that's been thought the past week, I need to generate these thoughts into some inspiration in my life, and make changes where they are needed.
No matter how frigging awful I've felt (and feel) this past week, I truly think that it has been needed this year. I've needed the wake me up, and I think this is it. No more hiding, CH32, learn to see things through more- learn to process feelings through video content & written word- people don't just want to see what you've bought from Primark recently... be a better person than that, be you.
Was that too deep for you guys? I must had slipped out of person towards the end, so try not to get too puzzled. I barely edited this blog post- apart from the spelling mistakes, I just wrote. Like how I used to when I first fell in love with blogging in 2013. This is just 100% me writing. I'm not a strong writer, neither a very clear story teller, but that's ok. I've always been a bit of a weird-ling throughout my life- and I think it's important I try not to change that, just roll with yourself & life will roll along with you.
Whether you dropped off from this post as soon as you read the first line, or you're right here with me to the end- Happy Sunday. May your week be healthy- and please do not forget to just take a second to appreciate your current health situation- like, we are here breathing right now. That's enough to make anyone smile.
*Just to summarise: I feel inspired. So if it takes having a week off sick to feel like a new woman-
it's going to be an experience I'm going to have to write about. Love, love.